30 Rules the Real Housewives Have to Follow

Not just anyone can be a real housewife. In fact, there is an extensive interview process before each lady is cast for the season. In addition to “the look” each cast member is tested rigorously through on-screen tests and home interviews.

To top it off, housewife king, Andy Cohen, gives the final approval. He’s like the real-life Charlie from Charlies Angel’s.

To keep things at least a little real, the auditioning housewives must have actual previous friendships with some of the established housewives.

Otherwise, the new girl would just get the imposter edit for the whole season! Who even is she? Does she even go here? Countless questions - the girls would be in hysterics!

There is no stone left unturned while filming, any situation in the housewives’ personal lives is totally on the table for production.

Family problems, marriage problems, your mom’s dog’s sister’s affair - It’s all talked about while filming. 

EVERYTHING is fair game, even their phone calls. There’s absolutely a reason that every phone call on screen is over speaker phone. Production wants to see and hear every detail of the drama.

Afterall, if this rule wasn’t in effect, we would have totally missed out on seem very juicy facts throughout the seasons. 

Each housewife is required to blog their experiences and reactions on the show, oftentimes a lot of drama is started over what has been leaked on the blogs during the off-season.

These blogs give us a chance to really see what’s going on. You know, for information purposes of course!

A housewife wouldn’t be a “Real Housewife” without their iconic tagline. Changing with every season, these catchphrases make a statement about who the housewife is, and what she’s all about. The taglines are actually picked at the end of filming, after all of the drama has unfolded.

According to producer Doug Ross in an interview with E News, each housewife gets to record five or six taglines, and the producers chose which one best fits their narrative for the season. 

After binging 20 episodes, these women can seriously start looking the same. That’s why each housewife is required to keep the same hairstyle and look the whole season!

No wonder some of them come back to the reunion with a nose job, or two...

To make us all believe that the interviews are real-time reactions to each episode, the housewives have to wear the same three outfits, hair and makeup for all of their in-episode interviews.

Vicki Gunvalson told Glamour, "You wear the same outfit all year long. You get three looks [total]. But for three months, you have to wear the exact same outfit, same hair, same makeup. You can never cut your hair in the middle of it because you're supposed to look the same.”

Their face - their responsibility! The housewives actually have to pay for their own glam squad while filming.

Erika Jayne was actually the first housewife to expose the network for not paying for hair and makeup. She even flies her glam team out to every cast trip. 

A lot of work goes into filming reality tv, and sometimes production doesn’t get the cut it wants the first time.

So, each housewife must be available for reshoots of key scenes. Not very real, is it? 

At the beginning of every season, we all look forward to seeing the cast in their promo shoots.

For obvious reasons, the ladies are required to all wear coordinating outfits for the promo photos. 

What production wants; production gets. Each day of filming, each housewife is given a brief of the day.

Oftentimes, the producers stage phone conversations to poke-the-bear and push juicy confrontations or storylines that come into effect later. 

As much as they want to, the housewives can’t address the audience while on camera.

Doing so would break the fourth wall, and it’s a big no-no in reality tv. If the stars address the audience, it will totally break the illusion that all of this is happening in real life.

Even though they’re strongly encouraged to go on cast trips, the housewives have to pay for part of the trips themselves.

Maybe the housewives’ taste and vacation necessities are so outrageous, the network just can’t possibly cover it. 

Proving our point, if an accommodation isn’t up to standard, a housewife can use her personal funds to upgrade as she wishes.

It pays to be a housewife!

If you’ve ever wondered why the girls torture themselves on these turbulent trips, it’s because they’re actually extremely encouraged to go on the trips. At least it's a vacation!

What better way to get the drama mill going than unlimited alcohol? Alcohol is always available to the housewives while on holiday.

In fact, if they run out or don’t have the alcohol of choice, production will go get their preferred drinks immediately. 

If you think all that free advertisement for housewife product lines were free, you thought wrong!

Each housewife’s contract specifies that the network receives a cut from all products and businesses promoted on the show. There truly is no such thing as “free” anymore. 

Where’s the drama if every housewife is compensated the same? Each housewife negotiates their own pay, and the terms that come along with that pay.

New housewives are paid substantially less than OG housewives and fan favs.

Those catfights and verbal assaults go unpunished for a reason - the housewives can’t sue each other.

This is pretty insane, however if you watch the show (like us) you know that the housewives have their own ways of serving justice...

Lock her up! Some housewives' lives have seriously spiraled out of control in complete view of the public. What’s juicier than the show's villain finally facing jail time?

 While unfortunate, it just makes for good TV. That’s why production absolutely goes out of their way to film the train wreck. 

Andy loves his housewives, that’s why he has the final say on who comes and goes from the show each season.

So if you’re ever in the position to be a Real Housewife, make sure to keep it interesting, or you just might get the chop.

Drama is the fuel that keeps the season going, and the housewives totally get brownie points for keeping it all going.

Afterall, friendly luncheons and charity events are boring - we want that hot gossip, girl! 

While on the show, each housewife builds a name for themselves.

That’s why Bravo makes each housewife sign a non-compete for up to one year, barring them from going on another show. Afterall, they really wouldn’t be famous if it wasn’t for Bravo anyway. 

Tensions are at an extreme high by the reunion, and that’s why the housewives aren’t allowed to speak to each other on set before filming.

Save it for the stage ladies! We need to see what’s going on… for information purposes of course!

Yes, where each housewife sits at the reunion is totally strategic.

Whether it’s to show who ended up on who’s side of the fight, or to place enemies right next to each other - there is always an angle production is trying to spin.

Sometimes a housewife can take it too far, and we’ve seen them fall from grace.

Moving from housewife, to friend of the housewives. Keep it classy ladies!

Each housewife receives a lump sum for their time filming, each season.

Friends of the housewives are only paid per episode. So if it seems like their friends are clawing for airtime, it’s because they totally are!

The unspoken rule among housewives - don’t mess with the OGs. Seriously, when the new girl starts messing with the queen bee, there can be some severe consequences amongst the other housewives.

They could even get demoted; the housewives always need more friends after all. 

We’re taught to leave family drama alone amongst friends, but that just isn’t the case when it comes to reality TV.

As much as they try to keep personal family drama off the air, production can absolutely use it to move the season along.